Always
by bellamortsarmy
Summary: What happens before the epilogue, but after the rebellion.   Not very good at summaries, but read it to find out
1. Chapter 1

AN : This is my first try at writing so please leave me some reviews telling me if you like it or not.

** I do not own anything**.

_Chapter 1 _

I wake up screaming. Again.  
>It's been months now that we won the rebellion, but I still have those horrible dreams. And i doubt they'll ever leave, they always come back to haunt me.<p>

I yank the covers off my body in frustration, I haven't been able to get a good nights sleep in forever because i wake up every hour of the night, covered in sweat, panting. I pad quietly across the room, grab my housecoat and head towards the door, making sure not to make any noise.

While I make my way downstairs, I see Buttercup sitting at the door, and my heart constricts in pain as I think of my little sister Prim. I shake my head violently clearing all thoughts away from my mind, forcing myself to keep in the tears that are threatening to spill.

Coffee. I need coffee.

I make my way into the kitchen and search the cupboards for a cup. I'm so preoccupied it seems with the idea of making myself a cup of coffee, that i don't hear the front door open & close. I only realize someone else is inside the house with me when I feel someone put their hand on my shoulder. I'm about to jump away when i catch a scent. His. I'd regconize it anywhere. I turn around slowly, and my eyes lock with his.

'' Oh, uh.. Hi Peeta'' I manage to say, my eyes still locked with his magnificent blue ones. '' You okay?'' he asks. God, i hate it sometimes. He can read me like an open book, and it's kind of hard to keep anything from him nowadays.

I don't say anything, instead I nod my head and turn back around, returning my attention to making my coffee. I already know he doesnt believe me, but he doesn't press it, and for that im grateful. He walks across the kitchen,takes the coffee maker and fills it with water. He then goes to the stove and turns on the heater to boil it. I guess i forgot to do that. '' Right '' I say '' thanks.. So you couldnt sleep either?'' I ask. It really isn't much of a surprise, the only way that we both get sleep is if we sleep in eachothers arms.. and well, i'm too much of a coward to ask him for that.

He shakes his head as he leans on the counter. I walk over and sit on the counter top right next to him. I put my head in my hands and groan in frustration. I feel his arms wrap around me and I can't help but wrap my arms around his waist and hide my face in the crook of his neck.  
>I breathe deeply. I've missed him, terribly. Even if i see him every single day, i miss the way things were. I miss his kisses and his hugs. My eyes start getting heavier and suddenly the coffee pot whistles loudly. Peeta jumps away from me and looks around for the source of the sound. His eyes rest on the pot and he exhales while running a hand through his hair. I jump off the counter top and get another cup.<p>

I poor the boiling water, and add milk and 2 sugar cubes each. I hand a mug to Peeta who thanks me. I grab his hand and bring him over to the couch and sit down, we stare at the fireplace where the burning embers of a dying fire still illuminate the room. We sip our scolding hot coffee in silence, sitting side by side. I look at the clock and realize it's 3:47 am. I finish drinking my coffee an place it on the living room table. Peeta does the same and then pulls me in his arms once again, I don't object because i'm so exhausted and plus i've missed him. The first thing i realize when i'm woken up is the time. Who the hell is knocking at my door at this time? The second thing i realize is that I had no nightmares. I disentangle myself from Peeta's arms slowly, making sure not to wake him. I yank open the door, and my jaw hits the floor with surprise.

It's Gale.

Tell me what you think?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

'' Gale ! '' I gasp in surprise. ''What are you doing here?''

I see him looking over my shoulder, then he turns his gaze back to me.  
>''Aren't you happy to see me Catnip?'' he smirks.<br>I dont know why he's here, but I guess i'll find out soon enough. I realize that ive just been staring at him for the past few minutes so I open the door and let him in.

I hear rustling behind me and look back to find Peeta rubbing his eyes while sitting up, he's opening his mouth to say something when he notices Gale standing behind me. A look of confusion crosses his face but he quickly recovers.

'' I'll go make breakfast'' he says as he leaves the livingroom. I nod quickly, and go sit on the couch.

Gale follows and plops down right next to me.

''Gale, '' i say hesitantly '' What are you doing here? Why aren't you in 2 ? ''

I don't bother looking up at his face, because it brings back to many memories of my little sister. I don't want to blame it on him, but it was his and Beetee's plan.

Im brought back out of my dark thoughts when he clears his throat and says '' I missed you Katniss'' Now i look up into his face. Sure enough he's staring at me. I study him for a while, trying to read his face to see whats going on in his head, but I don't find anything. I change the subject, because i really don't feel like having this discussion at the moment. '' Where are you staying while you're in district 12?'' I say.

'' Oh, i guess i hadn't thought that one through, nowhere i guess. I'll find somewhere to stay though, don't you worry.'' he responds.

Great. Now i feel like i need to ask him to stay. I know i'm going to regret this as soon as the words leave my mouth but i say it anyways '' You're welcome to stay here for a little while, Gale'' as im saying this I get up and go to the kitchen. As soon as i walk in the kitchen, I smell pancakes and right on cue my stomach growls loudly. I look at Peeta and I feel my cheeks getting hot with embarassement. Thankfully Peeta just grins and doesn't say anything. I walk over to the kitchen table and sit down in my chair, Gale pulls up a chair across from me and just stares at me.

'' What?'' i say as Peeta puts a plate of pancakes infront of me.  
>'' Nothing.. '' Gale replies. I glare at him and then finally he cracks. '' Okay , okay. Fine Katniss. I think we need to talk''<p>

Uh-oh. This can't be good.

**_So sorry I haven't updated in forever! Tell me what you guys think, i honestly didn't really want to continue it so that's why it took so long to update but then I just decided it was worth a shot.  
>Reviews are welcome! <em>**

**_And i know it's really short, but don't hate me. xxx_**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I just stare at Gale for a while, contemplating my decision. If I talk to him it'll bring back memories that I'm not ready to face. If I'm being honest with myself, I'm still mad at him. He was my bestfriend.. and with what happened to my sister, I just don't know if I'm ready to face it. My heart thumps loudly in my chest, and I take a deep breath to steady my nerves.

'' Gale, I... I just cant. Not now.'' I say as a lump in my throat forms at the thought of my sister. I can feel tears filling my eyes and I look down at my pancakes, no longer hungry.

I push my plate away, and stand up before he can reply. ''Thanks for breakfast Peeta, I think i'll go hunting for a bit'' With that said, I run to the door, put my boots on and grab my jacket and my bag. I run out of the door just as I hear Gale and Peeta calling my name.

I run as fast as I can, trying to forget everything. I make it to where the fence used to be before the people of District 12 tore it down, since it was no use to keep it there. I continue running, and when I make it to the tree where I stowed my bow I finally slow down and take big gulps of air. Everything is just too much right now, so I need to clear my mind and what better way then hunting. I still can't believe Gale has showed up after all this time. I will admit that I do miss him, but I don't think i'll ever be able to forgive him completely. I walk deeper and deeper into the forest, thinking about anything other then Gale. As I'm walking quietly in the woods, I think about Peeta. Everything is so different between us now, and I knew it would be but i can't help but miss him all the time. Even when I'm in the same room as him. Last night was quite surprising, it was the first time in months that we touched, and it all just felt so right. As im thinking about Peeta, I hear a tree branch snap to my left. I stop where I am and listen carefully. I sneak up behind a tree and look over and that's when I notice a rabbit. Before the poor little creature could realize he was in danger, I shoot in arrow and hit him straight in the eye. Dead.  
>I pick up my game and put it in my bag. Here in the woods, I felt relaxed. Hours later I return home with my bag full, and as I walk in the door I remember that events of this morning. With a sigh, I walk into the kitchen and deposit my bag on the table. Minutes later Gale walks in and crosses his arms over his chest.<br>Before I can stop myself I turn to face him and say '' Why did you come here Gale?'' I can see a look of shock cross his features but he then smooths his face into a mask of indifference.  
>'' Well Catnip, if you would've let me talk to you this morning you would already know.''<br>''Just get it over with!'' I snap. He chuckles quietly and sits at the table, pulling my bag over to him.  
>I remove my jacket and join him across the table, finding myself in the exact position we were in this morning. Except now Peeta's not here. 'I guess he went home' I think to myself. Gale empties my bag and we both start skinning the animals in silence. Then Gale finally breaks the silence and says ''Katniss.. Listen to me, this isn't easy for me to say but I need to say it, and I need you to hear me out'' Silence. ''Katniss?'' he says.<br>Inside my head i'm having an argument with myself. One part of me wants to hear what he has to say but then the other isn't ready to face it. Eventually, curiosity wins over and I hear myself grumbling a 'fine'.

A long silence follows this, it's like he was surprised that I had agreed to hear him out. Sure enough when I peek through my eyelashes Gales mouth is slightly open but when he sees me looking he quickly snaps it shut and composes his face into one of indifference.

I just know that this is going to be a long night.

_(A/N) : okay so i'm sorry that this is so short but i promise that the next chapter it'll be longer _

_also i apoligize that they still haven't talked, but next chapter they will. _

_leave reviews & thanks for reading. :)_


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm in love, Katniss." Gale says. 

I stare at him, the skinned animal in my hands long forgotten. Oh god, did he seriously come all the way to District 12 to tell me he loves me. _Again_?

Before I can dismiss his confession, he continues. "I met this wonderful girl. She helped me forget. She healed me Katniss." He exclaims, before pushing himself out of his chair.

"Don't get me wrong, a part of me still loves you and I have a feeling it'll never go away, and I'm okay with it." I stare at him, my mouth hanging open. I'm having a hard time to wrap my head around it, but Gale still continues, not taking notice of my expression.

"I can finally go on with my life. It's obvious you don't need me anymore Catnip." He says this with a pained expression on his face, his voice filled with sadness and something else. _Longing? _I don't know anymore. "You have Peeta now." 

"Why did you come to tell me that you fell in love Gale?" I say while rubbing my temples. "What do you want me to say? Congratulations? Fine then."  
>Gale just stares at me imploringly.<p>

Sighing quietly, I push myself off from my chair and stand in front of him.  
>"Good for you, Gale. Really, it's great." I say this quietly, making sure to cast my eyes downward so he can't see the tears pooling in my eyes. It may be foolish to cry, but I can't bring myself to care.<p>

He should of never come here. My day was going fine before, I was healing. Slowly, but still healing. Now it's all ruined. His visit has just opened up recent and old wounds. This is bad.

Before he can say anything else, I push him towards the door. "It's getting late, I'm sorry but you'll have to find somewhere else to stay. Go ask Peeta." And with that said, I slam the front door shut, sliding the lock in place. Not like I need it, but still, I don't want to see anyone else for the night.

After the lock is in place, I slide down the door, no longer being able to stand. Tears run down my face, and all I can feel is despair. Despair and rage. 

It's not because he's moved on, I don't care for that. If anything, I couldn't be happier for him. Now he won't be chasing after me, wishing for me to return his affections when all I'll ever be able to give him is friendship. 

_No, Im enraged because he's forgotten. He's forgotten that my Prim is dead. That it's his entire fault_.

Wiping the tears off my face, I stand to my feet and storm into the kitchen. My whole body is shaking with pent up emotions.

_How could he do this to me? To her?_

Rage surges through my veins. I throw plates at the wall, on the floor.

"Why Gale? How could you forget? You don't deserve happiness. You stole her away from me!" I scream.

I scream till my throat feels raw.  
>I scream and still no one hears me.<br>I scream for my little sister.  
>I scream till my kitchen is destroyed.<p>

And finally, when there's nothing left to break, I sink to the floor and sob.  
>I curl my body into a ball, and just lay there, trying to hold myself together, even if it's in vain.<p>

I don't care about the cuts on my hands or on my face. I just want my little sister back, and it's his fault. 

_Why Gale? _

I whisper this. Over and over again.

_Why?  
><em>

But still I get no answer.

_Why? _I keep whispering this till everything goes dark but even then I can't escape.

_

Okay! So I posted this new chapter. I'm so sorry for those who have been waiting for this. I know I haven't posted in a long while, but I've had my reasons. I've been dealing with some personal issues, and mostly with school. But now school's out, so I might be posting more. Tell me what you guys think?

Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

authors note:

so so so sorry that i havent updated! ill try my best to update more often now.. i just need to figure out where im going with this from now since it's been so long. i hope you enjoy, reviews are always welcome! thanks for reading :) ps - sorry it's gonna be a short chapter again, im just trying to get back into the swing of things. Once again, I'm terrible sorry!

When I come around the next morning, I'm aware of two strong arms holding me to an extremely warm chest and for a moment my heart slams hard into my chest in panic before I realize that I'm in Peeta's arms.

Of course, my heart starts beating faster once I realize this.

He must've noticed that I was awake because the hand that was rubbing soothing circles onto my back paused before hesitantly continuing. I wait in silence, suddenly very aware that i'm still in his arms and that he must have found me in my kitchen after my episode last night.

My cheeks redden in embarassement and moisture comes to my eyes so I shake my head lightly and sigh deeply.  
>After a few moments of silence, Peeta finally speaks up.<p>

"Katniss" he murmurs. "Katniss.. Talk to me please.."

I struggle to pull out of his arms, my bandaged hands stinging from all the cuts. _Oh Peeta.._

I sniff quietly and avoid his eyes, instead looking down at my hands. "I'm fine Peeta." I hear him sigh and I pull my gaze away from my hands, instead choosing to look around at the disaster that I'd caused last night.

My eyebrows went up in surprise when I noticed that it had all been picked up already.

Of course Peeta would clean up. He was always trying to make things easier for me.. Even though I didn't deserve his kindness.

"Thank you" I whisper, finally letting my gaze meet his. His eyes were warm, and my own eyes started to fill with tears. "Im so sorry Peeta.. I just I - " I take a deep breath. "I don't deserve this"  
>Despite my efforts to prevent the tears, a few escaped from beneath my closed lids and it was then that I was pulled into his arms.<p>

"Don't apologize Katniss, Im sorry. Gale should have never come. I can ask him to leave if you want." I shook my head against his chest, my tears soaking through his shirt.

He sighed deeply. "It's - " another sigh "It's gonna get easier Katniss"

I stayed silent, trying to repress the tears. I was honestly quite surprised and kind of disgusted with myself. It seems that Gales arrival had broke the dam and I was so sick of crying already. It was hard to think that thing's were going to get any better. How could they?

"I know it may seem impossible right now.. But you'll get through this Katniss. You're strong and you're not alone. You have me."

He squeezed me hard against his chest and my arms wrapped around his waist, grateful for his comfort.


End file.
